hmm most of u said i already had that moment, in a sense it's right, but then again, rag is totally unlike production, it's on a much larger scale. simin u said think of myself first. though i disagree with this selfish way of life i AM thinking of myself first when i say i wanna join rag. but actually there are other reasons i am joining rag. 2 main reasons. 1) cos i want to, i love kr, i wanna contribute to kr, it's meaningful, there'll be rich experiences.
2) cos i wanna continue staying in hall. Number 2 leads to the reasons why i wanna stay in hall. 1) cos i have my only NUS friends here, if i leave hall, i'll be even more lonelier than before, 2) cos i love KR, 3) cos i learn more about God here than anywhere else. Number 3 is the DECIDING FACTOR, that is pushing me more towards joining rag than leaving my 3 months free. it may seem meaningless to most of you, but yeah i am serious. when you can't decide between friendship and love what do u do? turn to God. from xin han's point of view i already 'promised' to spend my 3 months with him that's why he's feeling bitter about this. then i think about my hall friends, whom i can't bear to part with too, as well as the hall experiences. so my only way out is to think about which decision will enable me to bring most glory to God, so i'm thinking it's the decision to stay in hall, since i learn more about God's word from my hall cg than anywhere else, and in another 'sense' if i choose to keep my 3 months free instead and end up not being able to continue hall stay it'll be a more selfish decision, ...right?

of course i got think about the angels, like duh. i know many of you are leaving us temporarily this year, and i definitely want to spend more time with you all. that's WHY i'm still undecided. rag is something that's really ONCE IN A LIFETIME. only once, will my friends be joining rag. if i miss this chance it won't come again. and trust me, when you've been through the exhilarating experience of merely seeing the float, you'll be in such a wonder and amazement about how it was made, and just imagine the number of times that experience brings you as compared to merely seeing the float and winning awards!

li chin i know u've been through chingay. but rag and chingay is different. chingay may be a literal photocopy of rag, and you guys have fewer people to produce the same thing. but rag is THE actual thing. it's a brand new creation. that's why it's different. it's starting FROM SCRATCH.

some of you talked about whether i'll be able to cope. answer is DEFINITELY. firstly, studies-wise, it's during the 3months break and will end before school starts, so it's fine. 2ndly, relationship-wise, the whole thing will be 2.5 months, same time as production took, during which i only went out on weekends, so sure, that'll be fine too..

of course, i'm still holding back, cos i do want time for myself, family, friends, and xin han. obviously i do care about my relationship with these people. but please take into consideration the seriousness of my love for God and the loneliness of travelling in NUS alone before judging me k. thanks for all your advice, i really appreciate it.

today was damn tiring, covered squash (female and male) from 7pm-12am, lasted freaking long, afterwhich i came back for an hour+ cg, did some geog lab questions to be handed in on thurs, still editing the 500+ photos i took, which i must finish by tonight, it's already 2.40 now, i hope li wei is still awake to take back the camera man...

yeah he is... i just returned him. thank goodness.

okay anyway i need to edit finish the photos before i can sleep. if possible i need to finish geog online quiz too, deadline thurs. tmr's valentine's day, but i have a FREAKING mid-term test TMR! at 6pm some more! initially me and xin han wanted to pon all classes for the day, then he realized that he had a 4pm class that he ikanakeraba naranai (cannot dun go) and subsequently i realized i have a nihongo no shiken.. sian! thank goodness it's jap, demo mada komatta naa...

plus i have a jap project to finish by this week.

hai i'm really busy.

but u noe what, despite all these being the consequences of major time-consuming hall activites like production, i still don't regret it. the attraction comes from the acquiring of new experiences you know you will never get anywhere else ever again in your life.