as above, as well as what my brain has learnt a long time ago, but what my heart is only beginning to understand:


when you've been in an abyss for a long time, it becomes easier to remain in it than to try to get out of it. however one must always understand that, an abyss is an abyss, darkness, eternal, and nothingness. you can get only nothing out of nothing. outside of that abyss is what caused you to fall in in the first place. but that is still so much more colourful than what is inside the abyss.

and besides, what caused you to fall in is not the only thing out there.

even if the cause remains there for the rest of your life, it's still not reason enough for you to stay in the abyss and take the easy way out. live next to that cause then. it doesn't mean that having the cause around means that you'll fall into the abyss again, or that it will squeeze out everything else out there. firstly because its size is determined by oneself. secondly because, although it is big, yet its distance to you is variable.

and even if you fall into the abyss again, you would be able to get out again, because you've done it before.

therefore, don't take the easy way out. take the right way out. up. 
 

it may seem as though there are no footholds. but actually they are invisible. they're there, but you've got to look for them. and sometimes, you even have to create them. sometimes they come in the form of bonuses, like speed bonuses and strength bonuses. sometimes, they come in the form of time. no matter how many footholds you will need, no matter how long it gets and how tiring it becomes, once you see something other than black, it will be worth it. 



are you seeing grey already?

i'm here... hahaha..

good for you moo!


u noe what.. recently i've been feeling kinda depressed. i'll be glad just to graduate and not be a bum next time, else you all would be visiting me in the mental hospital to see me le, hahaha..

i'll be glad if i don't fail and can move on...

anyway, a topic of interest popped up that cheered me up a little:

MYBIRTHDAY!!

i seriously dunno what to do this year.. exams end on the 7th may for me. if all is successful i may be going to japan for a summer program from 14th may - 25th june..

but seeing as competition is so tough, i may not get in at all, haha.

yup.. can i choose my own birthday presents? if you guys r planning on giving something of course, haha.. although it will take the surprise out of things, and i love surprises, but it's so that the presents will be fully meaningful, right? haha.

a whole lot of media:

- Pirates of the Carribean set
- Johnny Depp movies set (is there such a thing? hahahah!)
- w-inds. live tour 2007 (ya i still want)
- sweeney todd soundtrack (but i think i'll buy this the minute it's out)
- a book on photography (would be nice but i think choosing it myself would be nicer.. haha..)
- any books on photography (u noe, like those kind of picture books taken by world-famous photographers..)
- lomo cameras!
- sony alpha 700 dslr!!!!
- ps3
- ds lite..
- psp (getting it soon!)

*eh i like talking crap... all the photography stuff i think i choose by myself would be better.. ahha. and some is just too ex.. but let me indulge in my sidetracking a little longer..*

- the magician's guild trilogy
- books on Christianity by C.S. Lewis
- water bottle (haha.. siao.. don't get me this i think i'm buying one soon)
- ff13 package (but i got no ps3... )
- inkheart movie (but i'm going to watch in the cinema!)

lol i think i'm going mad.. just simply listing down stuff i wanna get. i think i'm going mad.. my head is blank le.

back to my studying. mid-term in an hour.
-

i haven't been here for a long time.. hahaha..

so all who coming kr this friday coming at 11+pm? if earlier we might not be in.. earliest bus for dnd leaves kr at 5.30pm and we gotta do preparation all that, haha. btw i have to go for a "jap field trip" on saturday so i won't join u guys till too late.. haven't confirmed what time that one is though. going to waseda shibuya's high school festival. but it's not the actual one, it's just a preview, haha. cos otherwise there'd be too many people. but i'm planning on going on the actual one. btw when is PL funfair? i want to go.. met diana in nus the other day and told her about it too. haha who else is going? let's all go together??

hey, paiseh. my wonderful birthday celebration gonna be on the 6th May Sunday. probably starts around 9am. simin are you working night shift on saturday? if so can give you extra time. hahaha.. the rest - cannot. WAHAHA.. eh details will be up soon i hope. after my 4th paper tomorrow. 

pls reply to say if you can make it or not.. sunday 6th may 9AM in the morning..

ahahah been home almost this whole week, finally back in hall yesterday, so i didn't have time to access livejournal. got to blog though, on my own blog, but usually after that i've wasted a lot of time le so i'll go back to study. my computer in hall a bit siao siao.. cannot use the internet. so now i'm using xin han's laptop which he has left in my room when he went for his exam this morning.

ahhh just read moo's blog and realized that moo jaq and niao + da bian going for a cruise! so exciting man. hey i wanna go on a cruise with all the angels.. let's make it a point to realize this dream one day! but i have a feeling it might have to wait till all 4 angels going overseas education come back to Singapore le..

my exams are starting on monday, and yeah i haven't finished studying, still got a lot. i feel the urgency but i'm still taking my own sweet time.. and still slacking and sleeping.. at least i'm waking up early now. been waking up at around 7.45-8.30am this whole week! i'm glad with myself man..

last time i couldn't study with people around me.. but now i can, ahahaha.. been studying with xin han this whole week. i think it stemmed from a need to want to see each other as well as a desire to increase our CAP that's why we both can study together. yaay that's good good good..
but now i'm studying alone and i feel like sleeping again.. the good thing about studying with xin han is that i can do work almost non-stop and not sleep. whenever we end up chatting he'll always cut it short after a short while by saying "study la!", and very occasionally i'll do the cutting short act too. aahha..

hey minna-san my birthday is coming! so exciting.. ever since last year i've looked forward to my birthday with relish.. it's probably the only time of the year where i can get you guys to pei me do something I want to do.. super fun and exciting sia! li chin actually called me up to beg me not to make you guys go donate blood together (after her "horrifying" experience, as she had blogged about) and i found that hilarious. ahaha i where got so wuliao.. right...

but i can't deny that that idea has entered my head before la huh..

anyway don't worry. birthdays are meant to be enjoyed so rest assured i'll make sure (or at least try my best to) we all have fun! no inui juice this year (maybe gong juice though ee heee heee). btw 'Bridge to Terebinthia' (hope i spelt it correctly) is coming out on 10 may! the best day in the world! and i super wanna watch that movie (it's produced by the producers of Narnia too ahahha) so i may just make us all go watch that together. then again, maybe not..

just wanna ask something. i don't care if i'm narcissistic (like moo's pic) or what.. what day do you guys prefer to come out? i know you all wanna celebrate my birthday laaa ahaha.. so you guys prefer saturday or sunday? i was thinking i celebrate the actual day (thursday) with xin han since most of you all can't make it on a weekday anyway.. i would prefer going out with you all on saturday la but majority will decide.

oh yeah.. can i choose my present this year? i also know u all wanna give me something good la.. and i really appreciate all your efforts for me but frankly i'm a bit tired of bikinis, make-up kits and sexy tops.. a bit, i say.. a bit..

what i really want:
GAMES:
--> **Valkyrie Profile 2: Silmeria (PS2)
--> **Shadow Hearts (PS2)
--> *Shadow of the Colossus (PS2)
--> Rogue Galaxy (PS2)
--> *Dirge of Cerberus (PS2)

*all in English please, if possible NTSC version, but PAL should be fine.. the last 3 games pirated version also can.. aahha.. but please let it be in ENGLISH.. and working fine.. got a lot of stars means higher priority, haha!*

GUIDEBOOKS:
--> Final Fantasy XII (Brady Games Series)

wahahah people just any one of these with the '-->' will be fine.. or you can each donate $20 to the save-gong-fund cos i owe li chin a buttful of money.. not to mention moo too..  i estimate pirated games to be around $10 each (if you can find them) and zhen-ban ones to be around $70 each (i recommend amk hub funzcentre.com) and the guidebook cost around $50 from kino i think (but in the funzcentre.com i thought i saw it around $30..)

don't worry cost on the celebration day will be minimal.

last but not least, thanks to you guys for loving me! i look forward to my game!! whoooo-hoo...

P.S. Last alternative, buy a PS3 for me, $799.... 2 controllers please... haha just kidding.
""

so are we going out this saturday? or a simpler question.. who's free at 7pm this saturday? i am.. but i can't stay till late cos the exams are coming ahahha. 

been more studious lately, but not much in terms of action, more of mentality. been doing much more work of course, but the lethargy hasn't left me yet and the inertia is coming in full force. i wanna go jogging too man, li chin next time u go jogging please ask me. but this week i cannot ahhaa. tonight got publicity cell supper, thurs night got KR exam blessing + my block command, and friday.. lemme think. nothing on yet! but i wanna go back home asap. haha. 

this is the last week of school for nus people. but poor lakeh hasn't got much of a holiday and so do i. still, i can't wait for the exams to be over. 

anyway about this saturday, everyone pls reply who can make it? moo can right.. moo u wanna pass us our stuff right? qin if u can make it it might be a good time to pass me some comics.. niao too. and the phone. ahaha.. and jaq i can pass u ur ishuffle.. that makes 4 people with perfect reasons to turn up. simin r u working night shift on sat night? if not pls turn up at least awhile? ahhaha.. to get ur stuff from moo and to see us. hmm kat i'm sure u'll turn up what with ur twin and ur lao gong there too. and of course us hahaha. lakeh too bad if u need to study but u should be turning up too, wahahaha. let's all meet up for a simple dinner + our long-awaited neoprints? and after that those who can make it, a movie? err but this is not a good suggestion unless we can agree on a movie to watch. or we can just pick one each and do the scissors-paper-stone thing like what niao and her friends did..

congrats to niao and sai! aahhaha.. we got a shitty couple.. no negative connotations intended. the sai floating in the niao.. next time we cannot say "i want (to) da bian" le.. ahhaha!

yay we got 3 couples in the clique. jaq mentioned a double date before.. don't tell me now it's gonna be a triple date! i think it's kinda scary..
niao please update us on the process! how you two finally made it official. ahahha.. so interesting!

so dinner+neoprints on? at plaza sing? let's eat ajisen ramen? ahhaha.. i have the card. lol.. or thai express? it was nice eating carl's junior together the other time. suggestions come forward please!

this looks interesting. i did it three times.. the first time i anyhow do.. the 2nd time i did with slightly more consideration, and the third time i did it with instinct. so .. this is what it gave me on the 3rd try:

You are under considerable stress and you are almost about to 'blow your top' but you are fortunate enough to be able to exert control. Control is the name of the game and it is so good to realise that whatever the situation may be a this time - it will pass. You need to get away from everything for a while and if you do, you will find that, strangely enough, it will seem that most of your problems and situations will seem to wash away, just as the sea may wash away 'footprints' in the sand.

Most people are conditioned by their environment and you are no exception. You are an extremely emotional person - so much so that 'the wrong word' can lead you to tears. You feel other people's pain. You feel the need of sympathetic relationships and a pleasant work environment in order to develop and grow. You are an impulsive, loving individual with a great deal of inherent feeling.

Loneliness is soul destroying and at this time you feel lost and lonely, perhaps it is because you feel so frustrated that you are prepared to go out of your way to become emotionally involved with someone who could accept you for what you are. You are egocentric, antagonistic and quick to take offence, although it must be said, you can control your pent-up up emotion and thus avoid open conflict.

You are feeling trapped by the situation as it stands at this time and what is more, you feel powerless to remedy it. You are stressful, angry and disgruntled. You feel that everything that you try to do to change the situation is thwarted and your hopes and aspirations all seem to be receding into the ever distant future. You have reached the state where you now doubt whether your dreams will ever be achieved and this is not only causing mental stress but heartache. You need to get away from it all - you need to have time to think, to recuperate, to be able to make your own decisions.

You need to be needed and would like a situation where you will no longer be subjected to pressures and demands from those about you. There is no harm in 'dreaming' but it is you - and only you - that can be able to realise those dreams and to turn them into reality. 

all 3 times i got about the same thing, so oh well. do you think our preference for colours change based on our weekly moods? i say weekly because there is usually a general mood over the week, and preferences don't change THAT fast right? so would my result be the same a year later? during the holidays? haha. food for consideration.

so r we going out on saturday night?

hmm most of u said i already had that moment, in a sense it's right, but then again, rag is totally unlike production, it's on a much larger scale. simin u said think of myself first. though i disagree with this selfish way of life i AM thinking of myself first when i say i wanna join rag. but actually there are other reasons i am joining rag. 2 main reasons. 1) cos i want to, i love kr, i wanna contribute to kr, it's meaningful, there'll be rich experiences.
2) cos i wanna continue staying in hall. Number 2 leads to the reasons why i wanna stay in hall. 1) cos i have my only NUS friends here, if i leave hall, i'll be even more lonelier than before, 2) cos i love KR, 3) cos i learn more about God here than anywhere else. Number 3 is the DECIDING FACTOR, that is pushing me more towards joining rag than leaving my 3 months free. it may seem meaningless to most of you, but yeah i am serious. when you can't decide between friendship and love what do u do? turn to God. from xin han's point of view i already 'promised' to spend my 3 months with him that's why he's feeling bitter about this. then i think about my hall friends, whom i can't bear to part with too, as well as the hall experiences. so my only way out is to think about which decision will enable me to bring most glory to God, so i'm thinking it's the decision to stay in hall, since i learn more about God's word from my hall cg than anywhere else, and in another 'sense' if i choose to keep my 3 months free instead and end up not being able to continue hall stay it'll be a more selfish decision, ...right?

of course i got think about the angels, like duh. i know many of you are leaving us temporarily this year, and i definitely want to spend more time with you all. that's WHY i'm still undecided. rag is something that's really ONCE IN A LIFETIME. only once, will my friends be joining rag. if i miss this chance it won't come again. and trust me, when you've been through the exhilarating experience of merely seeing the float, you'll be in such a wonder and amazement about how it was made, and just imagine the number of times that experience brings you as compared to merely seeing the float and winning awards!

li chin i know u've been through chingay. but rag and chingay is different. chingay may be a literal photocopy of rag, and you guys have fewer people to produce the same thing. but rag is THE actual thing. it's a brand new creation. that's why it's different. it's starting FROM SCRATCH.

some of you talked about whether i'll be able to cope. answer is DEFINITELY. firstly, studies-wise, it's during the 3months break and will end before school starts, so it's fine. 2ndly, relationship-wise, the whole thing will be 2.5 months, same time as production took, during which i only went out on weekends, so sure, that'll be fine too..

of course, i'm still holding back, cos i do want time for myself, family, friends, and xin han. obviously i do care about my relationship with these people. but please take into consideration the seriousness of my love for God and the loneliness of travelling in NUS alone before judging me k. thanks for all your advice, i really appreciate it.

today was damn tiring, covered squash (female and male) from 7pm-12am, lasted freaking long, afterwhich i came back for an hour+ cg, did some geog lab questions to be handed in on thurs, still editing the 500+ photos i took, which i must finish by tonight, it's already 2.40 now, i hope li wei is still awake to take back the camera man...

yeah he is... i just returned him. thank goodness.

okay anyway i need to edit finish the photos before i can sleep. if possible i need to finish geog online quiz too, deadline thurs. tmr's valentine's day, but i have a FREAKING mid-term test TMR! at 6pm some more! initially me and xin han wanted to pon all classes for the day, then he realized that he had a 4pm class that he ikanakeraba naranai (cannot dun go) and subsequently i realized i have a nihongo no shiken.. sian! thank goodness it's jap, demo mada komatta naa...

plus i have a jap project to finish by this week.

hai i'm really busy.

but u noe what, despite all these being the consequences of major time-consuming hall activites like production, i still don't regret it. the attraction comes from the acquiring of new experiences you know you will never get anywhere else ever again in your life.

Feb 10, 11:50am -

quoting bryna, yesterday night was the grand opening night of KR Production 06/07, and tonight will be the grand closing night. nearly half a year's worth of hard work (From the exco, and 2 and a half months from me and the stage crew) will come to an end tonight. it's a mixed sort of feeling that everyone experiences when something they've committed themselves to for so long finally comes to an end, that i am experiencing now. there've been many times when i've always wanted to stop halfway. especially because i wasn't going to continue staying in hall from next sem onwards. it didn't make sense for me to continue working so hard when i could be having more time to myself even for recreation. but i kept telling myself, this was something i had committed. a long time ago i made a promise to myself to keep all my promises and not let go of commitments easily. so i didn't want to let go of this so easily too. furthermore it has always been my dream to be working backstage of a production, and this one week i've spent in UCC has confirmed that my decision was right; i've not regretted joining stage crew.

really, there've been very bad times. initially right from the very first day, only 5 girls and 2 guys turned up, along with 2 set engineers, to create a 2-storey set with 4 rooms. it was an ambitious dream. literally, at that time. kim was demanding right from the start, and there was already a lack of manpower before we could do anything. on the first week, i remember, the materials were not there yet, because the designers could not produce a confirmed design. and so, the girls got to try out welding, mild steel cutting, and other 'male-designated' jobs before we actually started on making the set. we used a LOT of angle-iron; to make parts of the set. all that was on the first week. nearing the end of the 2nd week, the materials came. (so in actuality we lost 2 weeks!) then things started progressing, but at a very slow rate. many people stopped coming. only the 2 guys (weliam from my block and bing han from li chin's block, friendly guy whose help got me a C+ instead of a D in programming) were constant. kim kept throwing tempers, and tools along with them. okay li chin u might beg to differ, but i know i was pretty constant. i went everyday except the 2 days i had swollen eyes, the one day i had fever, and on all weekends. (haha okay all weekends i didn't go. hey, then, i could only see xin han once a week and i needed to visit my family too okay...) so.. yup, just wanted to do justice to myself. painting period was the week before school started, the new year's day week. rmb me complaining about how bad that week was? yeah... i was turning out looking like SHIT (my msn nick) everyday... brown paint sucks, and the washing of brushes suck even more (gotta soak them in turpentine like.. forever. i've got tons of turpentine in my body already. think if i get a fever i'll burst into flames, haha.)

there were many times when chin gi wrote 'chin gi rox' into the paintwork, and we would be laughing at her. we had many lame jokes, like how julian's hair got 'dissolved' by turpentine, about how we had so much paint on our bodies we'd need to get a tin of turpentine each to bathe with, and how if someone smoked next to you we'd go up in flames, about how etc etc etc....

Feb 11 4:55am -

grand closing night for KR Production 06/07 is over. following up from this (last) morning's entry, we toiled till the 3rd week of school when the set was finally ready enough for minor touch-ups to be done at ucc when it was to be bunked in. for the next 2 weeks or so, we had rehearsals every week on tues to thurs nights, and on sunday nights. moving stuff in, etc etc. it was then that i first saw our musical and it's originality and fell in love with it. after that, was bunk in period. this year, we bunked in at least one day earlier. our set was bigger, and much more stable, which meant - more work. on the first night, monday night 5 feb (yup this past monday) we started bunking in at 11pm and ended at 4.30am on tues morning, with me, chin gi and julian sleeping over at ucc to take care of the set. i still remember the shiok and high feeling i had (and have always experienced) when i was sitting in the lorry with the set I had helped to make. i think over the course of this time, me julian and chin gi have gotten quite close. not excluding shi min, sue, en ling, and even the new neighbour li chin doesn't like, charmaine. ahhaa.. after all. the main people who came down during december were me chin gi sue en ling and shi min.

on tues morning 6th feb i was woken up by eunice (esther's twin) around 8.30, just in time for me to go for my 9am lesson. i was SO sleepy. 9am programming tutorial, i slept almost 30 min of the single hour tutorial. next up was soci lect which was pretty interesting, and jap tutorial which i could not afford to sleep (think the teacher will kill me) so i managed to survive. last was math lect... needless to say, i slept all the way. should've gone straight to ucc and ponned it.. at least i wouldn't have slept then.

tues' night debrief was the harshest. most of us got scolded for not going into ucc early. they wanted us to be there since 2pm. i went after my math lect at 4pm. basically we're expected to pon all classes with no attendance taken. it was only after that debrief that i took things a lot more seriously.

wed i ponned the entire day, and went to ucc to work on the set. thurs i went for jap tutorial (which i absolutely cannot pon, think the teacher will chase me to the ends of the earth and ask "doshite chu-to-riaru ni ikanakattan desu ka?") and soci tutorial (both i was trying my very best not to sleep) and ponned the rest, fri i went for 3 tutorials in the morning and ponned the rest. by then the set was already done, so i didn't have to do much except paint miscellaneous stuff and decorate the rooms. (i'll put up the pictures once they're uploaded. u guys will go "WOW! the set is so beautiful!" hahaha...)

fri 9 feb was the first opening night. all the details are very fresh in my mind. i remember lying on one of the clubbing scene cushion chairs and looking up, wondering at the amazing fact that one of the dreams i've always had in this lifetime has been accomplished. you know how when u'r young u always make big dreams, which usually don't end up being fulfilled cos u tend to lose hope when you grow up? i've been wanting to work on the set of a production backstage ever since young, and now i had finally fulfilled my dream. it's like.. you're at the end there, at the end of you're dream, but when you finally walk down the path amidst temptations to give up, you succumbing to none of them, and overcoming most obstacles, coming out a bit hurt, a bit scratched, but happy to have reached the end, only to find that it's not the end, but the door to another world that is already slightly ajar....

i was looking up, and observing the technicalities of the ceiling, all the soundproof mechanisms installed there, the large commodity of lights (i initially wanted to apply as lights designer but i had no experience so i didn't), the various rows of standing lights almost 4m tall on stage right, our stage props and hand props put (not so neatly) in the area, andrea as ASM wearing her headset looking very stern, big boy zee sitting at the desk controlling the mikes, the stage crew hanging about doing weird things (samuel playing the guitar and some girls singing around him, hahahaha..) julie (julian) and chin gi having a potentially uh-herm conversation nearby, bing han playing with light sticks, weliam watching, sue staring into space, farah complaining about the dark... hahhahaa... things are so nice. i've always wanted to be backstage! really! and i was there! i was there! i was there! i was behind the curtains! the audience were waiting in front! (that was the 5 minutes before showtime. meantime in the background KRockers were playing, and Joel and Shili's voices were ABSOLUTELY wonderful, i totally LOVE their voices... they rock!)

there were many times during the course of production that i got irritated with bryna and seb and some of the stage crew girls who seemed to fussy to dirty themselves. but generally, all of them have been great. even the girls who seem so fussy with make-up and demeanor (like charmaine, jane, pei rong, sometimes en ling) but in the end, despite complaints, they still got down into the dirt and grit and did everything. it's not like they ponned... they came everyday! (during bunk in period) and helped without saying much, other than confirmation details. so really, everyone's great, everyone's nice, i love everyone.

tonight was the last night. the last night we could view the performance live (albeit from the side from the curtains from back stage) the last night we'd sit in the dressing room making lame jokes and laughing (got one time i fell asleep in a cupboard and no one knew where i was, heng i brought my phone in and julian called me; another time today kim and bing han were playing around with samuel with made-up photos of him being bullied by his block comm in order to get block fund, ahahaha..), the last night we'd see OUR BABY! OUR BAAABBYY!! OUR 2MONTH OLD BABY!!! our dear dear set! every single piece of it represented a portion of our hard work. EVERY SINGLE BIT. during intermission i was staring at the set. i was trying to burn it's look and feel and every single detail about it into my mind. i nearly teared; thank goodness it was in the dark. i was sitting behind the curtains, listening to joel and shili's voices, listening to the chatter of the audience, and reliving every bit of stage crew memory in my mind. i know julian weliam chin gi and bing han love this set a lot too(most of the time it's us there). and everyone is very proud of my set. i was really touched when bryna expressed on the behalf of the cast and everyone else how proud they were of our set. i was so proud when i recognized appreciation from the audience.

throughout the play, i continued this act of imprinting the scenes into my memory. it would be the last time i could see alex and latifah up there singing the sweet duet during the love scene. it was the last time me and charmaine would rush out to set our half of the clubbing scene. the last time i'd help the four guys to open wide the curtain for them to carry out our 'lift'. the last time i'd see all the props in the room. the last time i'd see the cast and ensemble moving live in front of me. the last time i'd see the rooms all upright and beautiful..

2 and a half months of hard work, 2 hours per day of fame. 1 and a half months to build, half an hour to dismantle.

that's our set.

during curtain call, i was very very happy. i was very high! hahhaa.. i really love stage crew a lot. maybe or maybe or maybe more than my block. i sure don't know. and this experience has definitely changed my thinking about staying in hall. i cannot deny it any longer. no matter how much i try to distance myself from the other people around me, i still love KR a lot. i still love KR KR KR KR KR KR KR KR KR a LOT!!!! and i'm considering joining rag... li chin u?

after curtain call the c block people (me julian and weliam) rushed out to take photos with our block people, cos today was the slot scheduled for them to come. my sis was there and so was jie fu. i was quite disappointed that xin han didn't come, but that's over, and i didn't let that affect me anyway. after a lot of phototaking we went back to dismantle the set. i didn't even have time to mope over the dismantling, cos when we arrived back they had already started. as i pulled down the triangles i remembered painting and then subsequently repainting them in the dining hall with chin gi, and how we ran out of paint and had to look for alternative solutions, and how me and sue painstakingly cut them with scissors before julian found penknives, and how me and sue made our makeshift cardboard house....

we managed to dismantle the set in record time because everyone helped. yi ping the light designer, the tech officers, some of the cast (okay the guys only), ALL OF STAGE CREW LIKE DUH, and even some of the business exco people (small steph, she was REALLY helpful). after moving a lot of the stuff out i had a bit of fun using the gigantic broom to sweep the stage, before exiting from the back exit.. at the loading bay we all helped, WE ALL HELPED, it was so touching haha. after some time while waiting for the lorry to come back, the stage crew found the bubbles and started blowing them (we used them for the last scene to create atmosphere for the lovebirds alex and latifah~) and had great fun. haha.. it was the big bubble challenge. slowly some of the cast came out to blow bubbles too, namely priyanka and xiao wei (those acting as these characters of course). julian started giving out the oranges we used in the dining scene, and soon everyone was eating an orange. kim was playing with the colourful wind wheel and bing han and weliam were playing with the drills.

after that we slowly went back in lorry trips. along the way when i was in the lorry i saw my c block people walking back to hall from fong seng after supper, haha. and we were all waving to each other.

after some time, everyone was back, but extremely tired. i was exhausted from moving stuff, i was very tired. but after some piano-playing and singing in the hall performed by samuel and charmaine i was energized and later on scrubbed the rag area floor with renewed vigour. ahahaha... such a cliche phrase. whatever the case only me shi min chin gi weliam bing han kim samuel and julian were there scrubbing, the rest had went back to sleep. imagine our shock when later on we were waiting for supper to be delivered (ordered from samuel and kim who drove out to buy) that eric was at fong seng with charmaine and en ling! samuel was a bit irritated that they weren't helping to scrub but were having supper instead and so didn't fetch them back, haha. anyway eric has been constantly teased at throughout production at being desperate and favouring girls, and later on as liking charmaine, so they were like 'oh eric's enjoying himself la, don't bother about him'.. i didn't order supper, but i koped food from them. subsequently chin gi who was falling asleep on the chairs went to bed so in the end just left me and the guys. but it didn't feel weird, just very normal. later on sunny joined us and we talked till quite late, (quite some part on alan and jane, and then on the guys ranking the girls as all below average, so i ranked the guys all as 2/10, AHAHAHA), and in the end i accompanied julian to distribute our pretty programme booklet to all the other stage crew members, then we went back to our rooms, i went to bathe, and now here i am. it's now 5:43am so i've been blogging for 45 min le. haha. expected longer, thank goodness. tmr (later i mean) waking up early to go home and hopefully church, then going out with xin han.

now i'm in a dilemma. if i don't want to fool myself, i really want to continue staying in hall. but i already told my family and xin han that i wouldn't be staying next sem. xin han says we don't have enough time together (we've not met in a week) and my family wants me home more often (to what... feed the ... fish? haha jk). plus i want to work and catch up with the angels during the 3 months break but if i am to stay in hall i'll probably have to join rag cos i dun have enough points. but rag i'm joining really for the experience la.. cos i can still ask block comm to help me stay i think.

anyway, in the case of the long-decided-forgone angels' overseas trip, i asked a LONG time ago just that i didn't post cos i was too busy and no one asked me to anyway. i asked the sunday immediately after jaq's bd celebration, i can't go, duh. my mum was a definite NO, my dad's black face was answer enough. i'm not joining u guys for valentine's day for obvious reasons (oh and talking about that, i have a midterm test on vday, at SIX PM!! SUCKS!!) but i hope we can have another outing soon. haha.

on an ending note, because of my stage crew experience, i'm really tempted to join rag. but i'm in a dilemma, as abovementioned, so how?

whatever the case, i'm really happy. to be in KR.

THANK GOD! for letting me get through this busy period. it's not over yet though. qin is slowly adapting, and i wish i can be like her. i'm still doing homework last minute and revising for lects last minute. today had my first quiz for cs1231x. the kind where u can write something down after thinking for a long time but still ain't sure if ur answers are correct. oh well. THANK GOD! ibg is ending. i'll have more time for anyone else who wants my time. one thing i really hope my friends will understand is that i am not putting them aside for anything else... other than piano and church. and no more piano lessons after 21st sept! YAY...